I’ve been a bachelor for the past five months. Fancy pants wifey got some prestigious grant and has been off in South America doing a research project while I’ve been left to my own devices. Primarily breaking things around the house, eating cereal for dinner every night, and staying up past my bedtime watching Agents of Shield, Black List and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo (don’t judge) reruns. I’ve also been joined by my mistress…...